THAT LITTLE INNER VOICE
At some point I came to an understanding that people will always see me as gross
I wake up everyday and expect my body to offend somebody.
I wake up everyday and expect to need to defend my body.
I wake up everyday exhausted at the thought of something so perfectly normal being judged.
But I shouldn’t need to.
I shouldn’t have to wake up and prepare to justify myself.
I shouldn’t have to wake up and prepare to fight for my body.
I shouldn’t have to think twice before I post a photo.
But I do.
The hardest part of self confidence in a body is constantly worrying how other people perceive you. As hard as I can work to display confidence and not care – there is always a part of me that does. I can’t help but worry how I’m being perceived by other humans.
Have they already decided that I’m lazy because my hair and makeup aren’t done?
Have they decided that I’m unhealthy because of my body type?
Have they noticed the neglected leg hair poking out the bottom of my jeans?
If I post this photo, am I going to get negative comments?
How many followers will my stretch marks make me lose today?
What awful dms will my stomach invite?
It’s that little voice dictating these questions and comments that makes self love so hard. I’m at a point where I can still acknowledge what ways I do appreciate my body. When I don’t love it I can still look at it and thank it for getting me around, allowing me to live and being a comfort to my children.
But what if we didn’t have to live with that little voice creeping back in?
Wouldn’t that be nice?